My passion for yoga was born out of a health crisis in my life.  In November 2010, I was diagnosed with what I call Chemical Injury, also known Multiple Chemical Sensitivity.  Due to environmental exposures, I’d been poisoned by mercury, lead, cesium, thallium, hexane, ethylbenzene, xylene, and DDE.  At this point in my life I was unable to work, was in severe pain, very isolated, and feeling extremely hopeless about my circumstances in life.

I was unable to go to gyms as I’d become ill due to the solvents used in cleaning products, the smell of perfumes, deodorants, etc.   I had been going to yoga at LA Fitness previously, and really enjoyed it, but could no longer be in the building.  I was also a swimmer, but could no longer breathe in chlorine.  I couldn’t exercise outside in my city, as the pollution was too much for my body to handle when deeply inhaled.  Once I started the detoxification process, exercise was essential in moving toxins through my body, and I needed to find a place to do something!

I found a studio near my house that practiced a method of hot yoga called the Barkan Method.  Prior to trying the studio, I spoke with owner about topics to which only a chemically sensitive person would need answers.  She was so kind as she answered my questions about which cleansers she used, and when the last time construction had occurred in the building.  I also investigated and found that the tenants she shared ceiling space with were not dry cleaners or other businesses that cause neurological dysfunction and physical pain in my body.  As it turns out, the environment was good for my sensitivities.

Quickly I discovered that the studio was one place that I now had something in common with others.  At first I didn’t talk to anyone, or know anyone’s names, but for me it was nice to simply be doing something together.  I needed that, as I am a very social woman, but was living in the midst of isolation.

Detox was brutal.  For a time period I could literally not see straight due to side effects, like migraines.  The joint pain I’d had grown much worse before it got better (and is now completely gone!).   Sometimes out of loneliness, fear, despair, I’d be in class with tears streaming down my face.  Other times I’d lay in Child’s Pose and let whatever emotion I was feeling out.   Many times I didn’t know what I was feeling, but I just let it out.  The beauty of it was that no one else knew, as the room was heated enough that I was sweaty with a red face anyway, and the music was at the perfect volume to mask my sniffles.

I knew I had two options:  live a miserable life, or get well.  Many people with MCS live in tents in the middle of nowhere, or even die.  I knew I didn’t want to live in a tent, and I knew I didn’t want to be as miserable as I was anymore.  In the yoga studio I started to hear repeatedly about how powerful our minds are, and learned more about the mind/body connection.  I decided that I would use my mind to help make my body well.  I was sick of being sick and wanted to see the beautiful dreams I held in my heart come true.

The amazing thing about focusing so intently on getting in to a pose, or holding a challenging pose, my mind is exactly on that one point and nothing else is happening in the past or future.  There is peace and quiet in my mind.  My fears don’t seem to exist and all is well.  In a healing process, stress is one of the WORST chemical conditions to put upon a body.  Ironically, in those moments I had no stress.  My body was able to heal.  After time, I was able to take the concept of “being in the moment” off the mat and into my life.  I am not a master at that now, but much like yoga, it is a practice, and with practice I continue to improve

During my healing process, I learned the concept of positive affirmations and visualization.  In Dancer, I always pictured myself as a perfect and complete glowing ring, gold in color, ethereal  in substance and form.  I have various affirmations for different poses, and they still come to me each and every class.  “I am healthy, healed, and whole”  and “love” and “strong” and “connected” are some of my other favorites.

I saw my body grow stronger.  As time wore on, I felt better in all respects to my being- physically, emotionally, spiritually.

Dr. Dean Ornish, a yogi himself, wrote in his book “Reversing Heart Disease” a bold statement regarding pain:

“We can use our pain- emotional or physical- as a catalyst to begin healing, not just curing.  To me, “curing means only getting back to the way we were before we became diseased.  “Healing” is when we use our pain or illness as a catalyst to begin transforming our lives- healing our inner pain and our relationships, our hearts, and our souls. “

My yoga practice is absolutely the number one place where I took advantage of the quiet time and space to heal my body, heart, and soul.

Then the day I’d been longing for had arrived:  I was healthy enough to work again.  Once I had questions about what my future held such as “Would I be on disability?  Would I be able to drive or fly or shop or do the basics in life again?  Will I ever travel, or experience love again?”  To consider those uncertainties, the day I went back to work was one of joy and deep gratitude for the second chance at life.  This time, I felt like I was given the opportunity to REALLY live.

I still practice yoga as often as possible.  If I don’t get to a studio, I like roll out a mat in my home and stretch.  I am continuously reading books and watching documentaries, and exploring alignment courses whenever possible.   I still practice my meditations in my poses.  In addition to getting my life back, I also tremendously enjoy the benefits I feel each time I practice such as relaxation, improved digestion and circulation.  I also believe I am now taller as my spine has lengthened and straightened.  I no longer have pain in my hips due to injury from a car accident.  I have not stepped foot inside of a gym in almost 2 years and am in the best shape of my life.   Last week, I was able to do the splits.  I think it’s been at least 23 years since that happened!

Yoga has so much to offer each and every person, no matter what stage of life or health one may be in.  If you haven’t tried it, why not give it a whirl?  It just may help transform your life into something more amazing than you’ve ever imagined.

(This post steps outside the typical posts I write about health as this film must be shared!)

The Stoning of Soraya M. is an award winning film which tells one woman’s tragic story, yet she is not alone.

If you want to see the film before I spoil it for you in this post, stop here.  I watched it on Netflix.

My heart aches because of the injustice that this woman suffered, and THAT THIS STILL HAPPENS.

We can not point to one religion as the culprit, however, we may point to religious fanaticism.  We find it all parts of the world at different times of history.  Falsely accusing women and stoning them to death has been done in the name of God, Allah, whoever, whatever- any culture can take a religious entity and use it to manipulate our family and friends  in to committing hateful and evil actions.

But the thing that devastates me, is that with our advances in society, this injustice still occurs all the time.

Are we closing our eyes?  Do we not know it is happening?  I don’t know what I am supposed to do sitting here in Phoenix, Arizona that can help save and heal a woman’s life in a remote village in Iran.  But I do know that I can post this on my blog.  Maybe a few people will read it, and maybe those people will pass this information on to other people who will read it, and as it trickles down the line, we can help effect change by raising our levels of awareness?!

So please, if you haven’t watched the movie, watch it. Then share it.  Share this post.  Connect people who can help effect change.

Let me know your thoughts.

Recently someone posted this YouTube video on Facebook.  The short video is a CNN clip of a man in India who feeds those who can not feed themselves.  I watched it, cried, watched it again.  It is a poetic reminder that there are many people in need, and it is our privilege and honor to do for others what they can not do for themselves.

Please watch this video, and let it touch your heart.  ”The food that you give them will give them physical nutrition, the love that you show them will give them mental nutrition.”  Simply amazing.

Like the faint glow of sunrise, hope shines every more brightly…read on…

“Much-Afraid,” said the Shepherd again, “tell me, what is the matter.  Why were you so fearful?”

“It is the way you have chosed for me to go,” she whispered.  ”It looks so dreadful, Shepherd, so impossible. I turn giddy and faint whenever I look at it.  The roes and hinds can go there, but they are not limping, crippled, or cowardly like me.”

“But, Much-Afraid, what did I promise you in the Valley of Humiliation?” asked the Shepherd with a smile.

Much-Afraid looked startled, and the blood rushed into her cheeks and ebbed again, leaving them as white as before.  ”You said she began and broke off and then began again, “O Shepherd, you said you would make my feet like hinds’ feet and set me upon mine High Places.”

“Well,” he answered cheerfully, “The only way to develop hinds’ feet is to go by the paths which the hinds use- like this one.” Much-Afraid trembled and looked at him shamefacedly. “I don’t think- I want- hinds’ feet, if it means I have to on a path like that,” she said, slowly and painfully.

“Oh, yes you do,” he said cheerfully.  ”I know you better than you know yourself, Much-Afraid.  You want it very much indeed, and I promise you these hinds feet…I don’t know anything more delightful than turning weakness into strength, and fear into faith, and that which has been marred into perfection.”

The first time I read this I cried. The second I was still awestruck.  The third time when my breath was still taken away, I knew I had to share with you.  God knows I’ve been fearful, worried, uncertain, anxious…yet walking through those fears has made them vanish.

An excerpt from “The Uncommon Woman: Making the Ordinary Life Extraordinary” by Susie Larson

It is the eve of my 32^nd birthday (to those of you that know me- “26 forever!”), and I sit here in awe of how the last few years of my life have brought me to this place of joy and gratitude that has me weeping as I share this with you.

This time last year I was barely hanging on.  The physical pain was daunting, and my spirit was exhausted.   People wondered what was wrong with me:  I wondered what was wrong with me.  Ten months ago today I found out:  chemical injury.  Thank God for doctors that could find the cause of my chronic illness and help me get well.

Today, I am vibrantly alive and healthy!  My pain is gone, and my spirit is revived.  Today I am more joyful and whole than any other time I can remember.  I had no idea that the loss of everything would result in the gain of internal blessings that cannot be purchased, achieved, stolen, rust, or expire.  I have peace, contentment, joy, hope, and faith.  Those are pretty sweet birthday gifts

So tomorrow, I am going to celebrate all of these blessings with some of my favorite people at my favorite place- the beach  My heart has been forever changed by the love and generosity from my friends, family, medical professionals, and wonderful strangers.  I wish everyone could join me for a toast tomorrow night.  But since that isn’t possible, please know that when the sun sets over the Pacific, I will be thinking of and honoring all of you when I raise my glass.  Cheers

This morning I woke up and have a craving for sushi!  I looked through the pantry and found cool foods to toss together.  It tasted great and totally hit the spot, so I am gonna share it with you

I’m all about easy and convenient in the morning.  All the ingredients were already made, just chillin out, waitin to be used:

Yellow quinoa

Seaweed (Seasnax with olive oil- got mine at Whole Foods)

Avocado

Bragg’s Aminos

I took out a sheet of the seaweed, placed about 1/4 cup to 1/3cup of quinoa on the seaweed, then added the avocado in slices, sprayed some of the Braggs aminos on that, and rolled it all up like a burrito.

I love spice so I dipped my little burritito in Cholula Sauce.  This might wipe out the sugar free part of the recipe but I think it would have just a small amount if any.

I will definitely be making this again soon

It’s time to go to the dry cleaners again.  But not a regular cleaner that uses solvents etc but rather an ORGANIC, NON-TOXIC dry cleaner.  I am going to try Fresh Cleaners in Chandler (Arizona), right next to Whole Foods at Ray and the 101. The last time I had dry cleaning done was at an organic cleaner in San Diego, and the clothes came out beautifully, and odor free.

Why would I want to use an organic, non-toxic dry cleaner?  The reasons are endless.  Dry cleaners are incredibly toxic places.  I was inspired to research exactly what was used in dry cleaning facilities 6 months ago after I tried a class at a yoga studio that was next door to a dry cleaning facility.  About 45 minutes into the class, I was shaking, and falling on the floor.  When I left the building I was dizzy, and by the time  I got home I was so spacey that I could not put sentences together.  Check out this link for some technical information regarding dry cleaning compiled from MSDS sheets.  You will quickly see that it’s really not so good for you or your loved ones to breathe in

And btw, I just found a coupon for 30% off at www.FreshCleanersChandler.com for a purchase of $10 or more!

Recently I had a client tell me she wanted to lose weight.  She also told me that her doctor told her she has Crohn’s.  While I have had a lot of experience in many digestive disorders, I wanted to be sure that I did not recommend anything that might contra-indicate any of the instructions my client may have had from her MD.

I was able to connect with a childhood friend who manages her Crohn’s using a diet called the Specific Carbohydrate Diet.  She told me that she no longer has to take steroids, and feels like she has life back, and she got it by following the SCD.

When I took a look at the diet myself, I was simply amazed to find that the diet is very, very similar to what I’ve found makes me feel the best- no processed foods, grains, or dairy.  It is a diet intended mainly for Crohn’s disease, ulcerative colitis, celiac disease, diverticulitis, cystic fibrosis and chronic diarrhea, yet I was stunned to find out that it children with autism are being treated and helped through this diet as well!

If you suffer from any digestive issues, have a look at the Specific Carb Diet.  It seems to be a pretty simple, back to basics way of eating…where you’d most likely lose weight and feel much, much better

“The Cracked Pot”  (for years my Mom had this hanging on the inside of the spice cabinet door, where I must’ve read it at least 100x!).

A water bearer in India had two large pots, each hung on each end of a pole which he carried across his neck.  One of the pots had a crack in it, and while the other pot was perfect and always delivered a full portion of water at the end of the long walk from the stream to the master’s house, the cracked pot arrived only half full.  For a full two years this went on daily, with the bearer delivering only one and a half pots full of water to his master’s house.  Of course, the perfect pot was proud of it’s accomplishments, perfect to the end for which it was made.

But the poor cracked pot was ashamed of it’s own perfection, and miserable that it was able to accomplish only half of what it had been made to do. After two years of what it perceived to be a bitter failure, it spoke to the water bearer one day by the stream. “I am ashamed of myself and I want to apologize to you.”

“Why?” asked the bearer. “What are you ashamed of?”

“I have been able, for these past two years, to deliver only half of my load because this crack in my side causes water to leak out all the way back to your master’s house.  Because of my flaws, you have to do all of this work, and you don’t get full value from your efforts,” the pot said.

The water bearer felt sorry for the old cracked pot, and in his compassion he said, “As we return to the master’s house, I want you to notice the beautiful flowers along the path.”

Indeed, as they went up the hill, the old cracked pot took notice of the sun warming the beautiful wild flowers along the side of the path, and this cheered it some.  But at the end of the trail, it still felt bad because it had leaked out half its load, and so it again apologized to the bearer for it’s failure.

The bearer said to the pot, “Did you notice that there were only flowers on your side of the path, but not on the other pot’s side?  That’s because I’ve always known about your flaw, and I took advantage of it.  I planted flower seeds on your side of the path, and every day while we walk back from the stream, you’ve watered them.  For two years I have been able to pick these beautiful flowers to decorate my master’s table.  Without you being just the way you are, he would not have this beauty to grace his house.”

Each of us has our own unique flaws. We’re all cracked pots. But if we will allow it, the Lord will use our flaws to grace His Father’s table. In God’s great economy, nothing goes to waste.

So as we seek ways to minister together, and as God calls you to the tasks he appointed for you, don’t be afraid of your flaws. Acknowledge them, and allow Him to take advantage of them, and you, too, can be the cause of beauty in His pathway. Go out boldly, knowing that in our weakness we find His strength, and that “In Him every one of God’s promises is a Yes”

In the last few weeks, people have been telling me “Wow, your skin looks so good!  You look so healthy and are glowing!” I love hearing that!  Especially after spending my youth with rosacea and eczema, and my mid-twenties with acne, and my early 30s with horrible, horrible ezcema.  You’d never be able to tell any of that by looking at me now.

Recently I made a few changes in my skin care.
I increased my dry-skin brushing (to stimulate my lymph!) from 2-3 times a week to 1 or 2 times per day. I recently learned that lymph brushing acts almost as like a vacuum cleaner in our bodies…this lymph brushing causes our lymph to flow more effectively, thereby picking up the toxins and ushering them out of our bodies faster.  One nice side effect is generally smoother and clearer skin!

During my reading online, I came across this cool little video about the chemicals in our every day personal use products.  Check it out!