An Act of Kindness: Mechanic’s Shop and True Confession

It happened.  Again.  Today.

I was, again, brought to my knees in tears.  Sobbing like a 31 year old baby.

I’ve had this burden hanging over my head for a while in regards to my car.  I like to think of it as my “Hot Rod”, while others call it the “Mom car” (for the record, I have no children).  But whatever you call it, my Honda Accord was in need of some attention.  I’d been putting off taking my car in for quite some time.  People were telling me “It’s your alignment” and “It’s your brakes” and “It’s your power steering”…all sounded kind of expensive to me.   And I just simply don’t have a way to pay for it.

Tuesday morning I broke down and took my car in to a shop where I’ve had work done before.  The mechanic explained that the whining noise is typical of Honda’s when it’s cold, the shimmy was most likely my brakes and I was not in need of an alignment, but they’d take a look just to make sure.  I explained my situation (kind of) and asked about a future payment plan.  They said we could work something out.

Today, Thursday, my car spent some quality time at the mechanic’s shop.  They’d dropped me off at a Starbucks nearby, and when they were done came and picked me up.

The owner of the shop explained that it was simply the brakes that needed to be seated, or something like that.  I dunno.  All I know is that this meant I didn’t have to worry about all that other stuff, and, I wasn’t going to have some freak accident because I didn’t take care of my car.

When I asked for the bill, and they said there was “no bill”.  I don’t really remember what I said, but I was confused.  One guy checked with the other guy, and then said back to me, “Yeah, there is no bill.  You are set.”  I don’t know if they could tell by the look on my face but my simple “Thank you so much” was nothing compared to the deep gratitude I felt.

In almost disbelief I walked out to my car, and got in, and started to cry.   I say cry, but more accurately, sob.  I don’t know if there are words to describe how deeply grateful I truly am for this (yet another) Act of Kindness.

More honestly, I don’t know if I can express to you how 3.5 months ago when I was first told I was toxic, I didn’t know what to do, except believe that in some way that I could not predict, I was going to be provided for and taken care of.  What I don’t  understand is how so many people I never expected anything from, and most of whom I’d never even met before, have stepped in to my life, and “rallied around me”, and made this possible.

I am diligently looking and applying for work, but that says nothing for my checking account today.  I live in awe at the Acts of Kindness and the many forms of love in my life.  I know that I would not have been able to do any of this without everyone that has stepped up and contributed to my experience.

This brings me to an entirely new true confession…one  I’ve been thinking about for the last several months, and I think I am just going to spill the beans now…

I’ve never seen so clearly how we are all part of a whole.  We all matter, and the things we do matter.  I matter.  You matter.  We, and our actions, make up the collective whole.  None of us is alone, even when we feel alone.  We are all connected.

I’ve always tried to operate completely independently.  I didn’t want to burden anyone.  But that also meant that if I didn’t NEED anyone, I wouldn’t be hurt by anyone.  You know what I mean.

But in these last several months, I’ve learned I have much more to count on than myself.  I have Grace, and it comes to me through all of you.

I love the irony of the story so far:  Girl loses all only to gain miraculous experiences.   As soon as all of my financial independence was stripped away and I acknowledged my need, AMAZING things began unfolding in my every day life.

In the words of Jason Mraz, Life is Wonderful…It takes some cold to know the sun… Life is so full of love, and it goes full circle.

So, thank you.  Thank you for reading about yet another reason I was brought to my knees and cried tears of gratitude for yet another need met.  Thank you for sharing in my experience.

Now, I’m going to go cross off “Alignment” from my To-Do List